i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
