This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
