he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
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The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
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We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I am one with the molecules
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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