Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
