He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
