I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
