Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
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I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
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Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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