Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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