I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
