i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
