You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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