when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
