ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
