I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
