Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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