i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
