Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
