I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
