she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize