six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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