I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
