My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Naked. naked and bneed help.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
