I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
