Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
He felt like a one man threesome
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She's the barista slut.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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