i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
