Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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