that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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