Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Randomize
