Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
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