Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
