She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
