Me too!
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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