I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
