you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
