he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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