one might say we're banned from that church
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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