I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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