i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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