My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
