when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize