u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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