Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
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