i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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