dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
