Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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