Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
