1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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