i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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