I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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