if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
