I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
