you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
