I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
