watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
