Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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