He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
