she kept yelling 'call me bella'
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
