Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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